


how do you want [me] to do this?

by islndgurl777



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Double Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mostly rated G but a few have M parts and they are mentioned in the AN for that chapter, Quadruple Drabble
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 5,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27771175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islndgurl777/pseuds/islndgurl777
Summary: Drabble prompts for Critical Role. Cross-posted on tumblr.
Relationships: Artagan & Jester Lavorre, Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett & Nott | Veth Brenatto, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Caduceus Clay & Beauregard Lionett & Yasha, Caduceus Clay & Nott | Veth Brenatto, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Fjord & Beauregard Lionett, Fjord & Nott | Veth Brenatto, Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Grog Strongjaw & Pike Trickfoot, Grog Strongjaw & Vex'ahlia, Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre & Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre & Yasha, Keyleth & Pike Trickfoot, Keyleth & Scanlan Shorthalt, Keyleth/Grog Strongjaw, Nott | Veth Brenatto & Yasha, Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III & Vax'ildan, Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Scanlan Shorthalt & Grog Strongjaw & Pike Trickfoot, Scanlan Shorthalt & Vex'ahlia, Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot, Vax'ildan & Vex'ahlia (Critical Role)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 78





	1. 6. I lost the baby. (Grog & Pike/Scanlan) Double Drabble

“I lost the baby.”

“When you say you lost the baby…”

Grog sniffles and Scanlan winces at the wet sound it makes. “I lost the baby, Scanlan!” He bursts into tears, his wails shaking the house.

Scanlan shakes his head, bewildered, and glances over at Pike, who looks just as lost. Her brow furrows in concern as she steps closer to her best friend, looking up at him and laying a hand on his arm. “Grog? Buddy? What baby are you talking about?”

Grog’s lower lip trembles. He looks down at Pike’s tiny hand on his arm, then at her other hand, which had drifted to her swelling stomach. “The flower baby!” he cries, voice shaking. Tears continue streaming.

“Flower baby?” Scanlan asks, shaking his head. This makes...no sense. 

Grog nods, holding his arms out as if cradling an invisible baby. “Yeah. The flower baby I was spos’da watch to practice for Pike’s baby! So I could…” His face crumples and they can barely understand when he finishes, “Be a good uncle!”

It takes Scanlan a moment, but then he gets it. He turns to see Pike already looking at him, exasperation in her eyes. They yell together. “Vax!”


	2. 139. This place gives me the creeps. (Jester & Beau)

“This place gives me the  _ creeps _ .”

Beau adjusts her goggles with a frown. “Me too, but I’m pretty sure it’s our only option. We were never gonna be able to get around that cave-in.”

Jester sighs dramatically and Beau’s lips twitch.  _ Just wait _ , she thinks to herself.

Ten seconds later, “Should I send the others a message?” She doesn’t wait for a response before she nods and says, “I should send them a message. Right?”

_ Hey, Veth! We’re making our way back to you guys, you know, walking down this ~super~ ~creepy~ dark tunnel. Hopefully we won’t get attacked or- _


	3. 94. We can't go in there. (Nott & Caduceus)

“We can’t go in there…”

“Why not?” Caduceus asks, eyes steady and kind and  _ knowing  _ on Nott’s face.

She  _ hates  _ it when he looks at her like that. Like he can  _ see  _ her. She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and tipping her chin up. “Because I’m a goblin, and they’ll look at me funny.”  _ With disgust _ , she doesn’t say.

“So?”

She stares at him for a moment. “What do you mean, so?”

Caduceus shrugs. “They’ll look at me funny, too. Now they’ll be looking at us funny together.”

A moment later, she hooks her arm through his. “Okay.”


	4. 108. Are you hitting on me? (Pike & Keyleth)

“Are you...hitting on me?”

“No,” Pike says, bursting into giggles.

Keyleth’s eyebrows shoot up. “Because it kind of sounded like you were hitting on me.”

“I wasn’t!” More giggles.

“At your own wedding reception.”

“No!” Pike sets down her nearly empty mug and lets out a slow breath, trying to contain her laughter. “I was  _ trying  _ to help you come up with a pick-up line for him. Didn’t I preface with that?”

Keyleth grins. “No, you jumped straight to ‘I’m usually resistant to charms, but I’d make an exception for you.’ A little sophisticated for Grog, don’t you think?”


	5. 37. Dance with me. (Fjord/Jester)

“Dance with me!”

Fjord shakes his head, even as he gives in to her insistent tugging and stands. “Jester, I don’t…”

“C’mon, Fjord! Like this!” She lets go of his hands to start twirling in the middle of the dance floor, throwing her hands up and spinning with wild abandon. She’s utterly enchanting, and for a moment he forgets they’re here for a mission.

Then Jester takes his hands in hers and draws him onto the dance floor with her.

“You’re kind of bad at this undercover thing, you know,” she whispers, nose scrunched up adorably.

Gods, he loves her.


	6. 131. Let's run away together. (Beau & Fjord)

“Let’s run away together.”

Fjord’s eyes widen. “What? But aren’t you…” His voice is a little high; he clears his throat. “But you’re a…” Nope, still high. He huffs and rethinks. His brow furrows and he finishes with, “I didn’t think you thought of... _ me _ that way?”

Beau looks at him in confusion for a second before her face clears and she punches him in the shoulder. “No, dude. Not like that. Gross.” She shudders. “I meant, like, that we should get out of here!” She gestures to the mess around them.

He flushes. “Oh. Yeah. That makes more sense.”


	7. 137. You're an asshole. (Fjord & Veth; side of Fjord/Jester)

“You’re an asshole.” 

“I mean. Yes.” Veth tilts her head. “...Are you just figuring that out?”

Fjord throws his hands up and says, “Well, no, but I thought there was a line, a limit to how much of an asshole you’d be!”

Veth blinks up at him, then bursts into laughter. “And you thought  _ this  _ was the line?”

Fjord looks down at himself, eyeing the nice new suit that’s been ruined by blown-up bits of pastry. He looks over at Jester, her beautiful new gown now stained. Her eyes are bright with joy.

He grins, shrugging. “No, I guess not.”


	8. 52. Can we cuddle? (Yasha & Jester)

“Can we cuddle?” Yasha’s whispered question cuts across the quiet of their camp.

Jester startles and looks up, eyes red. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and smiles tremulously. “You want to cuddle?” she asks, voice shaking. Her arms open wide in invitation.

Yasha’s not a cuddly person, never has been, but Jester is. And Jester’s the one up crying during her watch, trying to keep her sobs muffled so she doesn’t wake the others.

Yasha scoots around to slide into Jester’s open arms, squeezing her tight, pretending she doesn’t notice as Jester continues crying quietly into her neck.


	9. 13. Don't leave me. (Beau & Caleb)

“Don’t leave me!” Beau grabs his arm desperately as he stands.

Caleb raises a brow, lips twitching. “Beauregard, are you...nervous?”

She glares and punches his arm. “No!” But she shifts around in her seat, eyes sweeping the tavern to watch for Yasha’s return.

“I think you  _ are  _ nervous.” He settles back into his seat with a grin, arms crossed over his chest.

Beau’s cheeks heat. “Shut up,” she grounds out, hands clenching on the table.

Caleb’s smile softens. He places his hand on hers. “Beauregard. She will say yes.”

She exhales slowly. “You think?”

He squeezes her hand. “Yes.”


	10. 46. Can I kiss you right now? (Fjord/Jester)

“Can I kiss you right now?”

Jester’s eyes widen, and for the first time in her life, she can’t think of what to say. “Uhhh…”

Fjord’s lips twist. “That sounds like a no.”

Jester exhales a noise, shakes her head once, but still can’t find any words.

Fjord nods and throws a thumb over his shoulder. “Okay, well, I’m just going to leave now, maybe head to Tal’Dorei, and you probably won’t see me for twenty, maybe thirty more years. You know, just enough time for us to forget this entire-”

Jester leaps forward and presses her lips to his.


	11. 17. Are you upset with me? (Grog/Keyleth)

“Are you upset with me?” Keyleth asks, wringing her hands.

Grog eyes the raven on the branch above her head; he can feel Vax’s stare. He sighs and looks down at Keyleth. “No.”

She waits for him to continue, but he doesn’t. Heart racing, eyes filling with tears, she says, “Then why have you been avoiding me? Do you...not like hanging out with me anymore?”

Grog lurches up; he hates it when she cries. He wraps his arms around her and presses a kiss to her head. “That’s not it at all, Keyleth.”

The raven nods and takes off.


	12. 50. We'd make such a cute couple. (Fjord/Jester)

“We’d make such a cute couple.”

Fjord presses his lips together as he looks over at Jester, lounging on the other end of the couch. “Yeah? You think?”

She nods emphatically and sits up, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. “Yeah! You know, with our height difference, and your cute little teeth and my super cool twirly horns, and our pretty sea colored skin. It should be illegal for us not to be together and make super cute babies!”

She is so adorably drunk.

“Jester,” he says, unable to suppress his laughter any longer.

“Yes?”

“We’re already married.”


	13. 182. I've wanted this for so long. (Fjord/Jester) Double Drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to adapt the NSFW prompts into SFW prompts, but then I was like "Fuck it, I'll try some smuttiness," so the first one is SFW and the second one is NSFW.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Jester smiles softly up at him. “Fjord-”

He colors, realizing what he’s just said. “I mean, growing up in an orphanage, without a family, you wonder what it’s like, and you start to hope, you know? You start to want that kind of thing for yourself, you start dreaming of it, and I never thought-”

“Fjord,” she says more firmly, cutting him off. His jaw snaps shut and his eyes, a little wide, lift from her belly to her eyes. She smiles, presses his hand more firmly to her stomach, and nods. “Me too.”

//

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Fjord whispers, body pressing her firmly into the bed.

“Me too,” Jester says breathlessly, one hand at the small of his back, pulling him closer, while the other cups the back of his neck. “Don’t stop.”

He groans, returning to alternating little bites and kisses to her neck. He relishes every sigh and soft gasp he wrings from her, almost doesn’t realize their grinding is bringing him perilously closer to the edge. “Wait,” he pulls back. “We don’t slow down, this ends way too soon.”

She gives an impish smile. “We have all night.”


	14. 153. Put me down! (Fjord/Jester)

“Put me down!”

“No,” Jester growls as she marches back down the dock towards Nicodranas, Fjord thrown over her shoulder.

“Jester!” His firm tone is ruined when she jostles him, her shoulder knocking the wind out of him. 

“You promised, Fjord!” she yells, starting down the road. People stop and stare as she stalks past.

“But-”

She sets him down and points accusingly. “No going on the ocean without us!”

“But Uk’otoa’s gone now! And it’s just supposed to be a day trip!”

“No. More. Ocean. Trips. Without.  _ Me _ .” She pokes his stomach with each word.

He smiles softly. “Agreed.”


	15. 142. It's just your imagination. (Scanlan & Vex)

“ _ It’s just your imagination, running away with you! It’s just your imaginaaationn, running away with you! _ ”

Vex hears Scanlan’s voice, muffled behind the awful, gut clenching fear, and it helps her shake free of her fright. “Thanks, darling!” she calls, nocking an arrow and taking aim.

She sees Scanlan give a nod out of the corner of her eye, even as he moves on to helping the next frightened member of their family.

The next time they near each other, she places a hand on his shoulder and casts a quick healing spell.

“Thanks, darling,” he says with a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics adapted from Just My Imagination (Running Away with Me) by The Temptations.


	16. 106. Do you believe in aliens? (Beau & Veth)

“Do you believe in aliens?”

Veth’s eyes light up, a wicked grin forming. “Do  _ you  _ believe in aliens?”

Beau’s eyes, previously slightly dulled with drink, sharpen and narrow, suspicious of the glee in Veth’s tone. “...No.”

Veth cackles. “You do! You believe in aliens!”

Beau scowls and stands, but immediately falls back down into her chair with a slam. She brings her hand up to her head and groans. “No I don’t!”

“You totally do!”

Beau crosses her arms over her chest. “Most of our group can do magic, some gifted from extraplanar entities! Why can’t I believe in aliens!?”


	17. 136. Give me back my phone! (Yasha & Veth)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tweaked the prompt to keep it in-universe. Also, I know Message only works within 120ft don't @ me about it just go with it.

“Give me back my wire!”

Yasha shakes her head as she holds the fine copper wire just out of Veth’s reach. “No.”

Veth gnashes her teeth and jumps up to snatch it, but Yasha easily pulls it out of her range. “I need to check in on Caleb!”

“No, you don’t,” Yasha says calmly.

“Yes, I do! He could be lying in a ditch somewhere, bleeding out from myriad stab wounds! Or kidnapped by an evil wizard and forced to do unspeakably evil acts!”

Yasha sighs. “He’s fine. He’s just on a date.” 

Veth growls and narrows her eyes. “Exactly!”


	18. 115. That wasn't funny. (Vax & Percy)

“That  _ wasn’t  _ funny.”

Vax’s gaze sweeps the room: delicate tinkering instruments, scattered everywhere; tiny pieces of metal rolling under furniture, never to be found again; small shards of broken glass disappearing into the cracks in the floor, definitely to be stepped on later; oil pooling on the stone, a slipping hazard.

And Trinket, munching on his prize, finally able to get a hold of it from where it had been dangling over his head on a string.

Vax looks back at Percy, drenched from having been knocked into a vat of water.

Vax’s lips twitch. “It was a  _ little  _ funny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact about this one: as i was thinking about a prank for vax to pull, i remembered the time he stripped naked and got into the bath with percy to give him a shovel talk and i ended up spitting coffee all over my computer, table, and all nearby papers from laughing so hard.


	19. 70. This is why I fell in love with you. (Fjord/Jester) Double Drabble

“This is why I fell in love with you.”

Jester looks up from tending a wound on a struggling rabbit’s leg, even as it twists around to nip her hand, drawing blood. “What?” she says, smiling cheekily. “My ability to  _ occasionally  _ utilize my healing spells?”

Fjord shakes his head, eyes serious as they lock with hers. “Your ability to love unconditionally and without reservations.” Jester’s smile softens, and he continues, “You give all of yourself to others, risking your own health and happiness for theirs. Even strangers.” He nods down at the feral rabbit. “Even when you  _ know  _ you’ll be hurt for it. You are the most incredible, most selfless person I’ve ever met, Jester, and I love you.”

Heart pounding, unable to look away even as her eyes fill with tears, Jester swallows against the emotion welling in her throat. She would never begrudge a wild animal for harming her even as she tries to help it, just like she would never expect any person to repay her for her kindness, but her heart feels full to know someone, especially  _ this  _ someone, values her for that. “Thank you, Fjord,” she says softly, smiling tremulously and wiping at her cheeks.


	20. 48. I've liked you for a while now. (Fjord/Jester)

“I’ve liked you for a while now.” Fjord fidgets, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Actually, I  _ more  _ than like you.” He pauses, takes a deep breath. “Jester, I’m in love with you.” He nods. “Yeah, that’s it.”

“Hey, Fjord!” Jester’s head pops in from the hall. He jumps, looking away from the mirror and flushing. Her eyes sweep the room and she tilts her head. “Were you just talking to someone?”

Heart racing, Fjord shakes his head, unable to untie his tongue.

She shrugs. “Okay! See you downstairs!”

He exhales shakily and watches her go. “...I am so fucked.”


	21. 59. You own my heart. (Fjord/Jester)

“You own my heart.”

Fjord’s eyes widen. “Jester-”

She holds up a hand, wincing. “Wow, that was like, super cheesy, wasn’t it?”

Fjord swallows. “Jester-”

She makes a high sound in her throat and shakes her head. “No, don’t say anything! It sounded fine in my head, and then I said it, and I heard it out loud, and wow, that was just the cheesiest thing I could have said, and like, a super embarrassing thing to-”

“Jester!” he says, placing a hand over her mouth, smiling softly at her. “It’s not cheesy at all. You own my heart, too.”


	22. 40. Will you marry me? (Fjord/Jester) Double Drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After last night, you couldn't have paid me to keep this to 100 words.

“Will you marry me?”

Fjord looks over at her, brows raised.

Jester rolls her eyes. “Not, like, right now,” she explains; clearly it would be inappropriate to upstage Beau and Yasha at their own ceremony by also getting married today.

A grin dances on his lips as he says, “Are you officially proposing, then?”

She scowls. “No! I’m just wondering if it’s something you’ve thought about.” She pauses, eyes narrowed in thought, then focuses in on him again. “Like, if you’ve ever considered that someday, maybe, you and I could, you know, get married, too.”

He’s quiet, his intense gaze focused on her. He doesn’t reply.

“Have you ever thought of that?” she asks, tone a little uncertain.

He remembers the night several weeks ago when he’d pulled Marion aside to have a quiet conversation, the shine in her eyes when she’d given him a strong hug.

He remembers the others’ reactions when he’d had similar conversations with each of them: Caduceus’s wise words, Beau’s fond arm punch, Yasha’s quiet congratulations, Veth’s happy screech, Caleb’s joyous smile.

He thinks of the sapphire ring that’s been in his pocket for months.

“Yes, Jester,” he says softly. “I have thought of that.”


	23. 39. I wish we could stay like this forever. (Fjord/Jester) Double Drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Anon who was like "hey maybe you could do a nsfw double drabble with this prompt? if you want?"  
> TWIST MY FUCKIN ARM. It's two separate drabbles with the same prompt, one sfw, the second slightly not.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.”

Jester looks over at Fjord, sprawled on the floor next to her. He’d dropped to the ground as soon as the door closed, not bothering to remove his armor. “You want to stay in a messy heap on my bedroom floor forever?” she asks, tone laughing.

He tilts his head toward her, raising a brow at how she’s also lying on her floor in a messy heap. “No, you’re right.” He reaches over to take her hand, pressing a kiss to the back and placing it on his chest. “Now I do.”

/

/

/

“I wish we could stay like this forever.”

He feels more than hears Jester’s whispered confession, warm on his neck as she presses soft kisses to the sensitive skin there.

Fjord’s fingers, tangled in her hair, gently pull free and travel down, cupping the back of her neck, trailing down the smooth, warm skin of her back, fingertips skimming the top of her ass. Then they’re traveling up, the backs of his fingers gently tickling her hip, her waist, the underside of her breast. He starts the circuit again. She sighs, snuggling closer.

“Me too,” he whispers, just as quiet.


	24. 145. Go back to bed.

“Go back to bed.”

Jester shakes her head, wiping her hand under her nose and peering at him with bleary eyes. “I’b fide, Fjord.” She takes another step into the room and has to reach out to steady herself on the wall.

Fjord leaps up, wrapping an arm around her and turning them back toward the bedroom. “Jester, when you tell me you’re ‘fide’, you’re not fine.”

She doesn’t bother disagreeing, eyelids drooping as she leans into him. “I don’t wadda be alone, dough.”

He tucks her in and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll stay in here, then.”


	25. 110. You did what?! (Pike & Grog)

“You did what?!”

Grog smiles down at Pike and holds out a small bag. “I bought a bag of magic beans!” he repeats, giving the bag a shake.

Pike presses her lips together, torn between exasperation and curiosity. She thinks for a moment. “...Wanna plant one?”

“Yes!” Grog says, whole body trembling with excitement.

They plant and water the bean in their back garden. A minute later, a huge treant bursts out of the ground, and dirt flies everywhere.

“What’s going on out there?” Wilhand calls from inside.

Grog and Pike look at each other, eyes panicked, and yell, “Nothing!”


	26. 62. I want to protect you. (Percy/Vex)

“I want to protect you.”

Vex raises an eyebrow; luckily for Percy, her smile is more indulgent than murderous.

He winces anyway, shaking his head. “Okay, I know how that sounds.”

“Do you, darling?” she asks, fighting a laugh.

He sighs but gives a definitive nod. “Yes, but I’m not sorry I said it. I know you’re a skilled fighter, not to mention the smartest woman I know. That doesn’t stop me worrying about you and wanting to be there to keep you safe.”

Vex’s heart overflows. She leans over to kiss his cheek. “Okay, you can come with me.”


	27. 54. I can't stand the thought of losing you. (Fjord/Jester)

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you,” Jester blurts.

Fjord’s heart skips a beat at the tears in her eyes. He reaches out to take her hand, which is covered in his blood, and squeezes hard. “Jester…” He doesn’t know how to reply. The feeling is mutual, but it’s not like their lives are all safety and comfort. As evidenced by this tableau.

She swallows and shakes her head. “You’ve nearly died way too many times, Fjord! That really needs to stop!” Her voice trembles.

He nods slowly. “I’ll try my hardest,” he promises. It’s all he can do.


	28. 55. Shut up and kiss me already. (Fjord/Jester)

“Are we telling people about us?” Fjord asks, hands clenching at his sides. He eyes the rest of the Nein, milling about but not paying any particular attention to them. “Because I really want to kiss you right now, but if we’re not telling them we’re together… NOT that I’m assuming we’re together or anything, I know we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it yet, but I really  _ want- _ ”

“Fjord?”

“Yeah?” He holds his breath.

Jester nods and smiles softly at him. “Shut up and kiss me already.”

He grins and leans in to do just that.


	29. 22. Don't call this number again. (Jester & Caleb)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tweaked the prompt to make it fit the universe.

“Don't message me again.“

Jester’s brow furrows.

“What’s wrong?” Caleb asks.

She shakes her head. “He sounded… weird. Maybe hurt. And he said not to message him again.”

Caleb raises a brow at that. While Essek has shown minor irritation at Jester’s interruptions before, he’s never been outright rude and demanded she stop. “You think he’s in trouble?”

She thinks about Essek’s reply and gives a hesitant nod. “Maybe I should scry on him?”

Caleb makes a noise, shaking his head.

“You think we should go rescue him?”

His gaze is steady on her.

She nods. “Let’s go rescue him.”


	30. 100. I didn't do it! (Pike & Grog feat. Pikelan baby)

“I didn’t do it!”

Pike surveys the mess of paints and chalks spilled on the table, smeared across the counters, and littering the floor. She eyes the two finished pieces of art displayed: one a small, neat portrait of their family in front of their house; the second a large, slapdash portrayal of Vox Machina’s battle against Vecna.

Her gaze sweeps Grog, noting the streaks of color covering his face, hands, and clothes. He shuffles his feet.

Pike turns to her daughter, whose clothes are pristine, her face unmarred by color. Her lips twitch and she nods. “I believe you.”


	31. 73. Oh, are you ticklish? (Beau & Veth)

“Oh, are you ticklish?”

Beau’s eye twitches at the unholy glee in Veth’s eyes. “...No,” is her unconvincing reply.

Veth’s smile widens. “Not even a little bit?” She edges closer, the tip of the feather just close enough to brush the hairs on Beau’s arm.

Beau shudders, goosebumps peppering her skin, a shiver traveling down her spine. She yanks her arm back and glares down at Veth. “Stop!”

Veth blinks innocently and says, “I thought you weren’t ticklish?”

Beau practically growls, “I’m not!”

The feather inches down again.

Beau snatches it out of Veth’s hand and crushes it. “I’m not!”


	32. 10. We can't keep this up forever. (Fjord/Jester)

“We can't keep this up forever.”

Jester pulls back from their embrace and raises a brow. “What do you mean?”

Fjord shuffles his feet, biting his lip.

Jester’s smile grows. “Fjord?”

He sighs. “Yeah?”

She takes his hands and squeezes. “Do you want to tell the others about us?”

He sighs, thinking about the inevitability of Beau’s relentless teasing and Veth’s inappropriate comments. Then he looks over at Jester -- beautiful, kind, amazing Jester -- and thinks about holding her hand in front of everyone. Kissing her without worrying about keeping this secret.

He smiles at her and nods. “Yeah, I do.”


	33. 160. Do you think you can teach me that? (Vex & Vax) Double Drabble

“Do you think you can teach me that?”

Vax jumps, cursing under his breath, and turns to glare at her from over his shoulder.

Vex bites down on a smile. She’s already picked up on some of his stealthy maneuvering capabilities, and she’s pretty proud she can still startle him so badly, but what she really wants to learn is this.

Vax glances down the hallway, making sure no one else is around, and continues working on the lock to Percy’s workroom. He has a prank in mind and he needs just a little bit of that black powder. “Stubby, are you asking for my help in learning how to sneak into Percy’s rooms?” he says with a smirk.

Vex wills her cheeks to stop coloring but doesn’t hold herself back from punching her twin in the arm. “No,” she grits out. “I want to learn how to pick locks.” Though it may not be worth it if Vax is going to be making fun of her crush on Percy the whole time.

Vax’s smirk grows. He hadn’t realized she was quite so affected by Freddie. This was going to be fun.

He gestures her over to begin a lesson.


	34. 104. Get that thing away from me! (Percy/Vex)

“Get that thing away from me!”

Percy’s eyebrows shoot up as Vex shoves the plate away, his alarm increasing when she bolts up from the table and takes off.

He registers Cassandra’s surprise out of the corner of his eye, but it’s half a second before he follows after his wife.

He hears her retching behind the bathroom door in their quarters. “Vex? Dearest?”

She groans, but the door opens. He sits on the floor next to her, rubbing her back. “Are you alright?”

She looks over, face still rather green, and says, “Darling, I have something to tell you.”


	35. 36. I'm so in love with you. (Percy/Vex)

Percy’s hands shake as he attempts to fix Bad News on the fly. In the middle of a fight. When they’re losing. Badly.

“Shit,” he mutters as his fingers slip  _ again _ .  _ Fuck this fucking-- _

Small, callused hands sweep in to take the weapon from him. “Let me, Darling.” Swiftly, using the knowledge he’s shared with her about his creations, Vex fixes the cause of the misfire and reassembles his gun.

Percy stares for a moment, jaw hanging open a little. He swallows. Hard. “I’m so in love with you.”

Vex gives him a wink and jumps back into the fight.


	36. 9. I can't believe you! (Vex & Grog)

“I can’t believe you!”

Grog’s brow furrows and he looks around. Maybe Vex’s angry words are aimed at someone else? But he doesn’t see anyone... “What? Me?” he asks, frowning. Vex glares up at him, hands on her hips. He immediately shrinks under her gaze. “What’d I do?”

“You kept Scanlan’s proposal plans a secret!”

Grog immediately straightens, a grin replacing his frown. “Yeah. I did that.”

“For a month!” She looks more impressed than angry now.

“I did!” His chest puffs out at that knowledge.

Vex’s lips twitch and she reaches up to pat his shoulder. “Nice job, Grog.”


	37. 181. If you're bored, wanna have sex? (Scanlan & Keyleth) (not a sexytimes drabble)

“If you’re bored, wanna have sex?”

Keyleth’s trembling stops. She looks over at Scanlan, eyes wide. “I don’t-- I wouldn’t-- I’m not  _ bored _ , Scanlan!” she finally snaps. His brows rise as she bolts up and starts pacing the room they’re trapped in. “I’m  _ furious  _ that you--”

“So you’re not scared anymore?” he asks slyly.

She opens her mouth to reply, a finger raised to make a point, and her jaw snaps shut. Her eyes narrow. Finally, “You think you’re clever, don’t you?” 

Scanlan grins up at her, shrugging modestly. “Only sometimes. Now, shall we find a way out of here?”


	38. 181. If you're bored, wanna have sex? (Beau/Yasha)

“If you’re bored, wanna have sex?”

Beau chokes on her own saliva, descending into a thirty second coughing fit before she’s able to form a reply. “What?” she finally rasps.

Yasha’s normally pale cheeks are bright crimson. She gapes at her own forwardness for a second before blurting, “I was joking!”

“You were  _ joking _ ?”

Yasha squirms, as much as a six foot barbarian goddess can. “...No?”

Beau’s lips twitch, but she stays silent.

Finally, “I was trying to be flirty! Seductive!”

Beau breaks into a grin and reaches up to cup Yasha’s cheek. “You’re already seductive as hell without trying.”


	39. 181. If you're bored, wanna have sex? (Fjord/Jester)

“If you’re bored, wanna have sex?”

Fjord looks over at Jester, eyes wide. “What?” he squeaks.

She doesn’t even look up from her sketchbook. “What, what?”

“Did you just,” he starts, taking a moment to clear his throat. “Did you just... proposition me?”

Her brow furrows and she looks up. “What are you talking about? I didn’t say…” Her eyes track just to the left of Fjord’s head and her eyes widen. “Artie! What did you say to him? He looks like he’s going to pass out!”

Fjord presses his lips together as a deep chuckle ghosts past his ear.


	40. 66. Is that a new perfume? (Beau/Yasha & Caduceus)

“Is that a new perfume?”

Yasha startles as Beau leans in, pressing her nose into the crook of her neck. “N-no?” She places a gentle hand on Beau’s back, looking at Caduceus for clarification.

Caduceus smiles serenely. “Veth was experimenting with potions. Fjord and Beau were exposed. I just left him in a similar state with Jester.”

Yasha’s arms close protectively around Beau. “Are they going to be okay?”

Caduceus nods. “They should be fine in a little while. A small case of pheromone sensitivity, I’d say.”

Yasha nods, pressing a kiss to Beau’s head. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”


	41. 188. Mine. (Fjord/Jester)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A follow-up to yesterday's prompt. Slightly nsfw.

“Mine,” Fjord growls, scooping her up as he walks through the door.

Jester squeaks in surprise, barely catching Caduceus’s, “Have fun, kids,” as the door slams in his face, kicked shut by Fjord as he propels them across the room.

“Fjord!” Her surprised gasp turns into a moan as he licks his way up her neck. “What’s going on?” She closes her eyes and grips the back of his neck tightly as he starts trailing kisses down her collarbone.

“I want you,” he whispers between nibbles.

She pushes him away long enough to pull off her shirt. “I’m already yours.”


	42. 28. I thought we were family! (Grog/Keyleth) Double Drabble

“I thought we were family!”

Grog sighs and rubs a hand down his face. “We are family.”

“Bullshit!” Keyleth’s chest heaves, cheeks pink.

_ Gods, she’s beautiful when she’s angry _ , he thinks. Then he scolds himself for letting his thoughts wander that direction. 

“Families,” she pauses to reword, “ _ Loving _ families don’t avoid each other like you’ve been avoiding me.”

He starts to deny, but she places her hand on his mouth and he freezes, eyes wide.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t been avoiding me,” she growls. “I go to Westruun twice a month to see Pike and Scanlan, and you’re never there. I’m in Whitestone at least once a week,  _ and  _ Emon,  _ and  _ Vasselheim, and you’re  _ never  _ around when I am. Hell,  _ everyone  _ has visited me in Zephrah at least once this past year, even Gilmore! But I haven’t seen you since Vesper’s first birthday party! What. The. Hell, Grog?” She punctuates each word with a punch to his arm.

She’s gorgeous in her rage, eyes heated, lips turned in a snarl. “I love you,” he blurts, pressing his hand to his mouth, instantly wishing to take it back.

Keyleth’s breath hitches, mouth open in shock. Finally, softly, she says, “Oh.”


	43. 141. Did you hear that? (Beau/Yasha, Fjord/Jester, Caleb/Essek, Caduceus & Veth) 4 half-drabbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four half-drabbles with the same prompt. The first two are sexytimes, so those are def rated M.

“Did you hear that?” Beau asks, eyes snapping open to look over at the door.

Yasha places another wet kiss between her breasts and looks up, pupils wide. “What?”

Beau’s attention snaps back to Yasha, knelt between her legs and kissing her way down her chest.

“...It’s probably nothing important.”

/

“Did you hear that?” Jester tears her lips away, grinding down into Fjord’s lap when he whines in protest, and looks toward the door.

He nibbles at her neck. “All I heard was this,” he says, grinning at the soft sigh she exhales when his fingers dip into her underclothes.

/

“Did you hear that?” Essek lifts his head abruptly, nearly knocking into Caleb’s, as they’re huddled over the same book.

Caleb’s eyes, instead of following Essek’s to the door, are drawn to the curve of Essek’s lower lip. Flushed, he turns back to the book and clears his throat. “Nein.”

/

“Did you hear that?” Veth asks, ear turned toward the door to the dining room. She grumbles when no one enters. “Didn’t you invite everyone to tea this afternoon? Where are they?”

Caduceus smiles and shakes his head as he pours their tea. “Preoccupied. And I heard absolutely nothing. Scone?”


	44. 96. Well, this is just great. (Scanlan & Grog)

“Well, this is just great,” Scanlan scowls, eyeing the horde of skeletons heading their way.

Grog grins, bouncing on his feet. “I know!” He twirls his axe and squares his shoulders, ready to kick ass.

Scanlan rolls his eyes, but his lips twitch. “This would have been a lot easier with Pike,” he points out, planting his feet and lifting his arms, readying a spell.

Grog makes a sound of agreement. “But then it would be over too quickly. ‘Sides, we don’t hang out as much as we used to.”

Scanlan nods, grinning. “You’re right. This is gonna be fun.”


	45. 2. Not you again... (Fjord/Jester & Artagan) Quadruple Drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i'll make today's a double  
> @ 209 words: okay maybe a triple  
> @ 334 words: fuck.
> 
> Kind of a follow-up to [chapter 22](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27771175/chapters/68263026).

“Not you again...” Fjord groans without thought, eyes widening a touch at the murderous look Artagan shoots him.

“Artie!” Jester cries, jumping up from the table and running forward to hug him. She pulls back, smiling brightly. “What are you doing here?”

Artagan’s smile is soft as he looks down at her, then venomous when he shifts his attention to Fjord. “It’s come to my attention some important conversations were had, and yet I was never consulted.” He pulls away from Jester to cross his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed on Fjord.

Fjord swallows hard, heart racing. “I-- um, I…” How was he supposed to finish that sentence?  _ Didn’t think you counted because you’re not actually a god? Actually, I didn’t even consider asking you at all? _ Though now that Fjord’s face to face with him, he’s forced to acknowledge that Artagan  _ is  _ Jester’s oldest friend...

Jester looks between them, brow furrowed. “Fjord, what’s he talking about?”

Fjord sighs, thinking,  _ I fucked up _ .

Artagan raises a brow. “Indeed.” He drops his arms, stalking closer to Fjord, eyeing him like prey. “First Marion, then the rest of your little friends… Were you ever going to ask for  _ my  _ blessing?” Artagan drawls.

“Um, well--” Fjord’s throat closes up.

“Your blessing for  _ what _ , Artie?” Jester steps between them, hands on Artagan’s arms, looking up at him in confusion.

Artagan looks down at Jester, sweeping an arm around to encompass the private beach they’re occupying, and her eyes follow the trail: the cabana they’d used for naps and cuddles and lovemaking throughout their day alone; the small table where they’d been enjoying their dinner, intimately lit with a few candles as the sun disappeared below the horizon; the tiny box Fjord had nervously produced seconds before Artagan had shown up.

Her breath hitches, eyes swinging back to lock with Fjord’s. “ _ Really _ ?” Her eyes shine, smile radiant.

Fjord swallows the lump in his throat and nods. “Yeah.” His heart thunders in his chest.

“Oh, Fjord!” She throws her arms around him, squeezing tight, and he wraps his around her, sighing in relief as she laughs giddily into his neck.

“You have it,” he hears whispered in his ear, though when he looks up, Artagan is nowhere to be seen. “As long as you continue to make her smile like this, you have it.”

Fjord nods once, pressing a kiss to Jester’s hair. “I will.”


	46. 116. This tastes horrible. (Beau/Yasha & Veth)

“This tastes  _ horrible _ ,” Veth says, spitting out a huge bite of cookie.

Yasha’s brow furrows as she nibbles hers. “It tastes fine to me?”

Beau enters and sets the tea tray on the table, two cups already filled.

Veth leaps forward to grab one, swallowing half the cup before, “Yeugh!” Tea flies everywhere. “What’s in this stuff?”

Beau passes the second cup to Yasha. “Essence of beetle.”

“Essence of--” Veth’s face twists. “You two deserve each other,” she announces, and she leaves.

A moment later, Yasha, shoulders shaking, says, “That was mean.” 

Beau shrugs. “She shouldn’t have interrupted our date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100% here for sam/veth trying to thwart beauyasha dates and marisha/beau handily turning it back on them.  
> i met my goal of writing at least a drabble a day from thanksgiving to christmas, but if anyone wants to continue prompting me, I'm down!

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts from [this list](https://islndgurl777.tumblr.com/post/635870567336116224/nearly-200-writing-prompts-feel-free-to-reblog), but I am open to other prompts!
> 
> [Prompt me here on tumblr!](https://islndgurl777.tumblr.com/)


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